(originally written pre-quarantine):

Cosmic Cannibal Horoscope: Another March Bites the Dust

By Cosmic Cannibal

It seems that there’s never a month that passes where the planets aren’t making some sort of monumental shift. March is no different. In addition to the usual sign-shifting mosaic of Sun, Mercury, and Venus transits, Mars & Saturn will enter new signs (Aquarius) in the final week of March, testing our nerves with unpredictability & an insatiable lust for disorder.

But the transits don’t stop there:

  • Mercury circles back through Aquarius, starting the 5th, where it will remain before stationing direct on the 10th, eventually entering Pisces on the 17th.
  • Venus enters one of its signs of rulership — Taurus — on the 6th.
  • The moon is full in Virgo on the 9th.
  • The Sun enters Aries on the 21st, marking the beginning of spring.
  • Saturn enters Aquarius on the 23rd.
  • The New Moon takes place in Aries on the 25th.
  • Mars closes the month, entering Aquarius on the 31st.

Now, what does any of this mean? Well, the answers you seek are lurking in the horoscopes below. (Be sure to read your Sun & Ascendant!)

Aries ♈

Are you participating in life, or are you merely a spectator? Answers may surprise you. Retrograde Mercury-in-Aquarius incites revelations about potential and impersonal truths— a major source of concern. With Venus-in-Taurus, pleasure, comfort, and satisfaction pervade your days, allowing you to make peace with your natural talents & pride in your self-worth. On the Full-Moon-in-Virgo, release personal habits that don’t serve you. Break through self-imposed barriers when Mercury enters Pisces and aim to cultivate compassion while your brain deals with unfinished business. Sun-in-Aries ushers in a 30-day cycle of self-focus and enthusiasm. Everything suddenly looks & feels brand spanking new. And speaking of new, new order is in the works with Saturn-in- Aquarius, which assists in liberating your life objectives & humanitarian ideals, but changes are super slow. More immediate changes arise with the New-Moon-in-Aries. Set the intention to start over and redefine self-ascribed rules & goals, and then launch headlong into new beginnings. Mars-in-Aquarius gives you extra energy to do so (not that you’re ever lacking in energy). Idealism and a heightened curiosity puts you on the path towards progress… 

Taurus ♉

Thoughts, feelings, and career matters are topsy-turvy. The complex is simplified, and the simple seems complex during retrograde Mercury-in-Aquarius. Fortunately, aplomb reserves are restocked with Venus-in-Taurus. With patience, receptiveness, and confidence, it is ten times easier to get what you want done; exchanges with, and feelings about, other people are colored with sweetness & ingenuousness. The Full-Moon-in-Virgo makes you hyper aware of, and equipped to express hidden needs; a fun creative project finishes. Inspiration & creativity elevate with Mercury-in-Pisces; communications connect with the masses. Behind-the-scenes activity increases tenfold with Sun-in-Aries, as you face unfinished business head-on. Problems will remain hidden until you reflect on the immaterial. Hunger for structure begins the 23rd, as Saturn-in-Aquarius shepherds in some (more) chaos at work. Seethe intermittently, but don’t resist change or new ways of thinking. On the New-Moon-in-Aries, opportunities arise to escape from the noise. Surrender to the call, and reflect on you; this helps you break through barriers. Ready for an energetic reset? Mars-in-Aquarius gives you the drive and inventiveness to tackle work issues with little to no effort…

Gemini ♊

Grandiose ideas are kind of your thing, but you crave variety. Luckily, retrograde Mercury-in-Aquarius takes you through new (but-actually-old) frontiers of the mind. Backpedal through your brain and sort through the nervous chatter to redevelop wisdom. A loved one captures your imagination and reveals the intricacies of relatedness with Venus-in-Taurus; inspiration soars. Drama on the homefront surfaces around the Full-Moon-in-Virgo; blood ties, empathy, & humility are tested. With Mercury-in-Pisces there’s a stronger desire to speak symbolically and/or visually. Starting the 21st, Sun-in-Aries coaxes out creativity & courage to actually actualize your long-term goals. Your need for freedom is enormous, which occasionally creates unnecessary conflict between your desire to stand with and apart from the crowd. Saturn-in-Aquarius renews & renovates pathways within. Views of the world change incrementally. Dreams come to light with the New-Moon-in-Aries, and a new identity emerges (as if you need another identity). Mars-in-Aquarius adds an air of expediency to your pursuit of success. With your (third) eye on the future, visualize & meditate on what success looks like; new deals and experiences are looming…

Cancer ♋

Change comes from challenge. Though unexpected changes may disrupt emotional attachments, this is beneficial to you in the long run. Retrograde Mercury-in-Aquarius sends your head spinning towards endings pending with your mate. Secrets stir as you scour the basement of your innermost self. When Mercury enters Pisces, your mind gets blown by an out-of-body experience. Venus-in-Taurus attracts some much needed love to your social clubs; like magic, like-minded peers find you. The Full-Moon-in-Virgo sheds light on your day-to-day, coaxing a reorientation of your routine. Sun-in-Aries puts your reputation in the spotlight. Establish a longed-for position in the world and fortify it with spirited effort. Your mission in life is strongly pushing you to move forward. Beginning the 23rd, Saturn-in-Aquarius encourages the elimination of the enigma that is your individuality. Eventually, you regenerate and find riches hidden within. Set the intention to assert your standing in the community with the New-Moon-in-Aries. Clarify what it is that you need to do and invest all of your energy there. Reconcile freedom/independence issues with Mars-in-Aquarius, and face fears head-on…

Leo ♌

Let instinct and detachment guide you this month. Retrograde Mercury-in-Aquarius sees you working in close contact with eccentric partners. These quirky allies (adversaries) insinuate truths that are as illuminating as they are uncomfortable. The credit you’ve rightfully earned (and secretly craved) arrives with Venus-in-Taurus once you let go of control and get real. Analyze self-worth and attitudes towards attachment(s) on the Full-Moon-in-Virgo; base judgments about these resources solely on their usefulness. Mercury-in-Pisces puts thinking back into the unknown; investigative insight improves. Dramatic head trips are in the works with Sun-in-Aries. Spontaneous adventures, however small they seem, teach big lessons, giving you marked enthusiasm for outer and inner exploration. A new karmic cycle begins the 23rd with Saturn-in-Aquarius, though the didactic unveiling is progressive. Step-by-step you learn about yourself through how you handle one-on-one partnerships. On or around the New-Moon-in-Aries, up pop prophetic dreams regarding life-changing ambitions. Your higher aspirations demand intense consideration & exuberant action. Mars-in-Aquarius sees you forging ahead in aforementioned partnerships, coloring outward conduct with competitiveness, obstinance, and a keen desire for independence…

Virgo ♍

Value alone time and bring order to what is undoubtedly a chaotic inner world. Unusual mental habits form with retrograde Mercury-in-Aquarius and your schedule takes an erratic turn. Venus-in-Taurus puts you on a persistent search for meaning. Spiritual albeit self-indulgent activities preoccupy your free time. Previously ignored feelings are released in a deluge on the Full-Moon-in-Virgo. Shed the mask of self-denial and harvest your true spirit. Commit yourself to a dream during Mercury-in-Pisces and connect with others to work towards realizing it. Emotional bonds and the consequences of intimate relationships come into focus with Sun-in-Aries. Muster the courage to be frank with your shadow; find it by digging deep. Serve others and serve yourself — this is the main message of Saturn-in-Aquarius. To assimilate this karmic lesson, you must master your skills in full. By the New-Moon-in-Aries, the opportunity arrives to release attachments and to welcome in change. Set the intention to transform. The process of purification begins with Mars-in-Aquarius. Driven to adjust and reorient your day-to-day, you can bid adieu to bad habits and reclaim self-discipline… 

Libra ♎

Lighten up. Even though retrograde Mercury-in-Aquarius sees you occasionally tripping over words, mental agility is at its peak; thoughts are quick, nervous, but ingenious when you really concentrate. Naivete & innocence replace the nervous chatter, and life seems more ~connected~ with Mercury-in-Pisces; details are nebulous, but a yearning for perfection remains. Affections intensify to an almost overpowering degree with Venus-in-Taurus, but buried control issues could lead to manipulation. Love is on a pendulum, swinging between two extremes. Emotional secrets come out of the closet on the Full-Moon-in-Virgo; be gentle not so analytical. Modify yourself & negotiate your needs with Sun-in-Aries, and watch passion smolder; love bonds are imbalanced, but tip in your favor. Creative self-expression is tested starting the 23rd with Saturn-in-Aquarius. Reform your approach to creativity, and find ways to be more innovative; this anarchy of the arts can be exhilarating. Exciting news about your loved one arrives around the New-Moon-in-Aries; identify and express desires with confidence, and let passion smolder. Mars-in-Aquarius brings on a craving for popularity, but tension & tantrums are along for the ride…

Scorpio ♏

Stop busying yourself —it’s time to withdraw. Retrograde Mercury-in-Aquarius encourages serious soul-searching about home, family, and your inner foundation. Self-reflection summons flashes of intuition, helping resolve unseen tension. When Mercury enters Pisces, life feels lighter and your sixth sense swells. Life & love feel in sync with Venus-in-Taurus, which helps you express affections in a down-to-earth way; make your feelings clear, and let the peace lead the way. Analyze life goals with a clear head on the Full-Moon-in-Virgo; are repressed emotions still driving you forward? Turn on your inner manager and reevaluate how you organize your time with Sun-in-Aries. The urge to start a new routine is too strong to resist. Beginning the 23rd, domestic responsibilities become more pressing with Saturn-in-Aquarius, and dormancy is on its way out; build up the foundation of your inner house. The New-Moon-in-Aries presents you with the opportunity to purify & refine —don’t waste this chance to reorient and start a new routine. Mars-in-Aquarius starts reshuffling personal relationships that have a negative effect on your home life. It’s time for new beginnings…  

Sagittarius ♐

Speak, listen & learn. Retrograde Mercury-in-Aquarius sees you having inventive discussions as old & new friends whirl in and out of your immediate environment; the tempo of life is fast & frantic, giving you opportunities to assimilate as much information as possible. The real world of relationships beckons with Venus-in-Taurus. Discuss duties, expectations, and all other seemingly boring practical matters with your boss/BF/GF. You’ll soon benefit from building solid interrelations. Secure some private time on the Full-Moon-in-Virgo; emotions feel exceedingly overwhelming. Withdraw and welcome a slower pace of thinking & living with Mercury-in-Pisces; reflect on all you’ve learned. An intense need for action thrusts you into taking a gamble with your heart when the Sun enters Aries; life feels fun again. Mental attitudes —how you speak/listen/learn —begin restructuring with Saturn-in-Aquarius. Communication style reveals (at times, uncomfortable) inner truths. Opportunities for R&R become apparent around the New-Moon-in-Aries; be it romance, sports, or gaming, do what brings you joy. Tempo of living picks up speed with Mars-in-Aquarius; energy and the need to argue are high…

Capricorn ♑

Conflicts arise between your head & gut. All feels up in the air during retrograde Mercury-in-Aquarius; decisions are made & unmade, and plans-for-the-future occupy much of your attention. Let your hair down and amuse yourself with Venus-in-Taurus. Steered by a strong need to enjoy life & love, and/or express yourself creatively, it’s a good time to act like a kid again (or get chummy with your kid — either one); self-esteem skyrockets. Emotions are intellectualized with Mercury-in-Pisces; metaphors & symbols pervade communication. Another head/gut split takes place on the Full-Moon-in-Virgo; don’t overindulge in too much skepticism as you seek proof of perfection (it doesn’t exist). Busy, blunt, & restless, Sun-in-Aries propels you to push the status quo; you assume the role of leader in personal & professional matters. Beginning the 23rd, values & what is important to you are turned on their head with Saturn-in-Aquarius. Don’t get obsessed with material security; rather, question inner values. Lead with emotions on the New-Moon-in-Aries; rawness felt reveals the next path for growth. Mars-in-Aquarius gives the insight needed to solve problems for the few & the many…

Aquarius ♒

Adventure awaits, but assembly is required. Staccato perceptions & a sense of urgency prevent you from figuring everything out during retrograde Mercury-in-Aquarius; impatience causes interruptions, but you still manage to pull stuff out of nowhere. Peace & stability hold sway at home during Venus-in-Taurus. Share the tranquility, and invite over your most congenial friends, or go it alone and pamper yourself by redecorating your surroundings. Worry works its way into your head around the Full-Moon-in-Virgo; sift through your psyche’s basement to find the true source of your anxiety. Unrealistic expectations put you on a search for value during Mercury-in-Pisces; little white lies hide meaning from plain sight. Sarcasm & tactlessness lead to unnecessary arguments with the Sun-in-Aries; you revel in the madness. Attention turns inward with Saturn-in-Aquarius, giving you the prime opportunity to learn about yourself & your life force. Doubts about identity emerge on the New-Moon-in-Aries. You thrive in this emotional chaos; use it to fuel intentions for progress. An excitement for conflict arrives with Mars-in-Aquarius, just watch that past & future don’t collide… 

Pisces ♓

Perspective is shifting in a positive direction. Retrograde Mercury-in-Aquarius brings dreams that reveal clues to problems in need of solving; what’s seen & known is selective. Discover the love lurking in each day with Venus-in-Taurus. Socializing picks up its pace steadily; fondness for & loyalty to siblings, neighbors, and friends surge, and the desire to express affection is too strong to resist. An opportunity for cleansing comes about on the Full-Moon-in-Virgo. Your partner’s flaws and mistakes are more obvious, so cultivate compassion and let the healing love flow. Express deeper thoughts with Mercury-in-Pisces; there’s an eloquence of thought that should be shared. Get excited about your gifts with Sun-in-Aries and find satisfaction in the resources you naturally possess. Beginning the 23rd, accomplishments & failures swim out of the background of your mind and into the forefront. Saturn-in-Aquarius dredges up some serious introspection about success & aspirations; don’t wallow in discontent, simply observe. The New-Moon-in-Aries ushers in the opportunity to nurture the child within; set the intention to cultivate a more positive self-image. The past becomes more active with Mars-in-Aquarius; a period of self-confrontation begins…